Added: Brean Ferree - Date: 13.02.2022 13:47 - Views: 26439 - Clicks: 5878
And is there such a thing called the one? Looking for love and social acceptance is a reality inherent not only to human nature, but to that of any social animal. They might be fooled, fooling themselves, or maybe, right. I would like to start by giving my personal definition of love. What some people consider an absolute rigid pure-emotional process, I tend to consider it as a fluid conditional state of mind that never stops evolving.
When falling in and out of love, befriending or un-friending people, what we are actually doing is continuously looking for a wavelength that best matches ours. Because our acquired experience is daily shaping our beliefs, change remains the only constant in our universe. That said, it does not mean that partners should be changed like underwear. Although this pioneering step is often challenging and self-consuming, how I really weigh love is by its sustainability. To me, love can continue to exist in only ONE condition: a synchronized evolution of both partners that allows their baseline wavelengths, no matter in which direction or how fast they change over time, to constantly remain at comparable levels.
For the purpose of clarification, what I mean by wavelength is all possible characteristics that one would love to see in the other person at one point. So if I am fond of smart business men who have a particular hair color and speak 3 languages, this would be my wavelength at this time-point.
These standards could change, and then I will be passing from wavelength 1 to wavelength 2. Now think about it, how many times have we heard that two people got married out of crazy love, but their marriage could not make it through till the end?
Whose mistake it was is a totally different question that I prefer to answer on a different note. But it is not. In fact, it is essential to highlight that every single bit of emotion, thought, or activity in our life is nothing more than the result of a complex interplay of neuro-chemicals in our brain. This heartache we feel in a love crisis or when bumping into an old love is nothing more than an electric message sent from our brain to our heart muscle to accelerate its beating rate as part of what is known as a fight-or-flight response.
As such, I will jump back to the original question: When are we supposed to stop looking for a new love?
In one of my conversations with a friend, I remember us comparing our potential partnership to a basket. This basket being of different shapes and volumes for each one of us, we considered that one could fill this basket with an infinite of partners, but only the partner who fits perfectly in there would not be easily toppled by a new input. But the main challenging question that remains to answer: how can we tell what our basket exactly looks like? The old me would have definitely rejected a one-partner experience, and argued about the importance of exploring panoply of choices.
Not that I stopped believing in the importance of options, but the paradox of choice can also introduce confusion to the point where one loses interest in all choices. In fact, the more we meet new people, the greater our choices and feelings expand. In other terms, as we explore new options, it is still possible to confine ourselves to a limited choice but the task of trade-off simply becomes harder.
Are we really meant to pick someone just for their availability? Or are we supposed to keep looking until the last possible minute of our life?
I am however convinced that every person reaches a self-agreement, as part of their survival instinct, on how best to proceed in their life and in choosing their partner. Log In Register. Lost your password? Home About. Personal Success See all.
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