Strong mature personality

Added: Lyndee Patten - Date: 01.05.2022 17:57 - Views: 49874 - Clicks: 1252

We tend to think of emotionally mature and immature as concepts that apply to children:. Nor do you magically become emotionally mature when you get your first job, get married, have a kid, or retire. Unlike physical maturity, which happens more or less automatically, emotional maturity is largely learned, practiced, and reinforced. And many of us were not taught the skills and habits that foster emotional maturity.

Or perhaps we learned the basicsbut not much more. In my work as a psychologist, I spend all day talking to adults of drastically different levels of emotional maturity. I have clients who are brilliant doctors, prestigious lawyers, and successful entrepreneurs but they struggle mightily to simply describe how they feel emotionally.

As a society, we train our kids to be critical thinkers and hard-working athletes, but too often we ignore or discourage anything involving feelings or emotions. One of the best ways to do this is to examine people who do have high levels of emotional maturity and break down the specific traits that lead to it.

Emotionally mature adults have relatively stable emotional lives. While they do experience mood swings, bouts of anxiety, and bursts of frustration or anger, their overall emotional level tends to be fairly consistent and even.

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On the other hand, those with low emotional maturity often have large, erratic swings in their emotional lives. Emotionally immature people tend to see thinking patterns like worry and rumination as things that happen to them over which they have little to no control. There are two key skills anyone can practice to improve their ability to think more flexibly, and as a result, bring more balance to their emotional life:. Emotionally mature adults tend to be humble, especially when it comes to their own psychology: how they typically feel, think, and behave.

On the other hand, emotionally immature adults tend to have a core feeling of insecurity and inadequacywhich means their sense of self feels too fragile to expose to possible failures and mistakes. As a result, they hang on to whatever strategies, habits, and defaults they have, unwilling to update them. Imagine two fifty-year-old men, Adam and Zach. As a result, we recommend considering working with a therapist yourself to better understand the nature of your relationship with your son and how you might improve it. But after sleeping on it, he realizes that there may be some truth to the idea, even though it makes him feel a little anxious and maybe ashamed.

He buys a few books on parenting teenagers. In some ways, this is similar to the first trait: thinking flexibly. Zach has indeed started by thinking more flexibly about the situation with his son. We think our way into a solution and blindly apply it without testing it to see if our solution actually lines up with reality. This like an entrepreneur spending their life savings on a business idea that has no market research or validation behind it. No matter how good you think your theory is, reality is the ultimate arbiter of effectiveness.

This means you must test your ideas in the real world before accepting them and implementing them. Remember: Theories without evidence are dangerous. Learn to be a good scientist in the experiment of your life. Emotionally mature adults have a nuanced understanding of the influence of our environment on the way we think, feel, and act. They understand that while people do have agency, control, and freedom in their lives, this freedom is always constrained to some degree by their environment and context.

What are the odds that you snap back sarcastically at your spouse, get into an argument, have a tense dinner with the Joneses, and go to bed still mad that night given Circumstance A vs Circumstance B? Emotionally mature adults understand that many things we think of as universal traits or abilities are actually highly context-dependent.

From problem-solving and work ethic to physical stamina and cheerfulness, how we think, feel, and behave is profoundly affected by our environments—both past and current. They do. Just like a good architect knows that the de and layout of an office building will ultimately impact the effectiveness and wellbeing of the workers in the building, start to observe how different aspects of your environment and context affect you or other people in your life:. It requires a careful attention to and cultivation of our emotional lives, something most of us instinctively avoid.

I thnink that advertising can be really unhealthy for people.

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It amps up subconscious pressures about measuring up, buying things and just adds stress because of unnecessary alling. I think many grown ups have problems with societal expectations and finances.

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My theory being that when people hit the mark of not needing to worry about money they may appear more emotionally stable on average. This fits with your above descriptions? I think so. While it is a deep context that is going on we may inadvertently blame people for? Commitment and follow through action to support full equality is the only acceptable answer. I personally think emotional maturity is also when you can think from other perspectives I guess is similar to flexibility, but not exactly.

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Someone could be rude to you and you can react to it naturally. So why let this affect us? Emotional maturity, what differentiates true leaders from followers, i think. Thank you so muchNick. I think another way to notice emotional maturity in people is by the tone of their voice when they talk. Emotionally mature people are generally very calm and relaxed when they talk. Conversely, emotionally immature folks shout and gesticulate a lot. Thanks Nick, your writing, for me, was excellent and right on time.

Anyway I read all his books and ate them up like candy and were so helpful. I was thinking that you will speak how to build emotions, harvest and channel them at the right time. Our society considers you a freak if you do that, but music does it for us anyway. In sports you have to learn to harvest emotions like pride, sadness, will of change, small anger to build a storyline in sports.

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We tend to isolate our society from passionate people thinking they are not like us and they are geniuses that have secrets and worked hard when in fact they had channelled emotions that gave them focus. In dysfunctional families, emotional immaturity is not a function of lack of learning how to appropriately handle emotion. It is daily examples of textbook emotional immaturity, witnessed by, effecting, and teaching by example children that is an appropriate way to handle things.

The behavior is reinforced by members of the extended family. I think I agree—we definitely learn emotional maturity and how to handle emotions or not from family members! A premise that suggests a measure composed by the ratio reason and the aesthetic imperative capacity to feel is pivotal in the Theory. Adding that we have choices. That maturity comes from the choices one may take. We do not have a choice on how someone will treat us but we do however, have a choice on how we respond. If people simply waited for 1 minute, or even if they waited for the count of 10, the choice they would make in comparison to just reacting immediately.

Would differ greatly. I think mature people tend to think before speaking. And the less mature do the opposite, just react. So the reactive emotional response reflects what they choose in that moment, some what on auto pilot. Which is not what someone who is mature might naturally do. As they would be more accustom to contemplate the or information. I enjoyed this post very much. It reinforces my belief that, ultimately, our ways of thinking and acting are something we groom throughout life.

We are responsible for our perspectives on our lives. Going with success is what brings bestthus finding out who does what best is essential in a coexisting group, be it a couple or a larger cohesive unit. Organizations know it, interpersonal relationships in family forming groups, e.

10 Signs of an Immature Person

As life circumstances change, happily lasting marriages are formed by the ones who continue amicably finding out what distribution of responsibilities works for them. Are you even aware of how bad this sounds these days? This kind of assumption is what is wrong with a patriarcal system.

This statement betrays you as someone who assumes a woman is responsible for more than half of anything domestically-related in a partnership just by virtue of her being the female in the relationship. One or two nights out of seven is NOT equity, given everything else is equal. This is not okay to state this way. My partner loved cooking and only requested that I make dinner at least twice per week to give him a couple nights off to relax.

Now, however, I do most of the cooking in my current relationship and I would like my partner to cook at least twice per week to give me a break. For example, my partner does all the hard physical labour around the house and I do all the cleaning and light-labour.

Strong mature personality

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3 Key Traits of Emotionally Mature Adults